Tips for dealing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings

Having a sick brother or sister can turn your whole world upside down. Because your situation changes, you might experience all kinds of new thoughts and feelings. This makes perfect sense. You might still have these feelings even after the treatment ends.

Remember that all those feelings are allowed, and that they are all normal and okay and not strange at all.
You might feel sad and angry more often than usual.
It's okay to be sad or angry.
It usually helps to talk about what you are feeling and what you are thinking. You will probably feel relieved afterward and if necessary you can work with someone to help you with your thoughts and feelings.
Try to let your parents or other people around you know how you feel. They usually really want to know, because if they know how you feel, they might be able to do something to make you feel better.
If you can't or don't want to talk to your parents, try to find someone else you trust. This could be someone at school, like your mentor or a teacher, or someone in your family or a neighbor!
Do you feel guilty because you are not sick? It's okay to do things that you enjoy. There is nothing you can do about the fact that your brother or sister is sick.
It can be difficult for you if your parents have less time and attention for you. Your sick brother or sister now demands a lot of their attention and sometimes there isn't much time left for you. Remember: It doesn't mean they don't think about you or care about you!
At the Máxima Center, there are psychologists you can talk to. For example, if something’s bothering you or you don’t feel well. They’re good listeners and can give helpful advice. Would you like to talk to a psychologist? Then ask your parents to make an appointment for you.

The booklet Brussenspinsels is about the feelings of siblings of children with cancer. You’ll probably recognize a lot in it. It’s available at the reception desk or through the website of the Dutch Childhood Cancer Association.